After reading the overview of the book, I decided that I probably needed to renovate every character trait, so I would start at the beginning and go all the way through. I surprised myself with the score on humility. First, the score was lower than I thought, secondly, the highest area was "Belittling Myself." I know I fall into the category of people pleaser, but never saw it brought out so plainly on paper.
I am really struggling personally with my becoming an older adult and thinking that I cannot please people like I used to. They automatically see me as the "older generation." A "has-been." No one has said that, but I often feel passed over, when I used to be always at the "Top of my Game." (Now that is pride!)
The two statements that I have underlined that describe me are on pg 32. "Women who overwork and let others take advantage of them." I always want to go the second mile, but in so doing, I feel like I am letting someone else down. That is very people-centered, instead of God-centered.
"Women who have a difficult time accepting help, because they don't feel worthy." I always feel like I am inconveniencing someone else's busy schedule if someone has to help me.
The answer in this book is "stop lying to yourself about your lack of value."
On pg 38, these are my statements in the journal,
"my reluctance in accepting help from others is the belief that they are too busy, don't REALLY care and I am letting them of the hook by refusing,"
"my reward for working hard is my titles and promotions"
"I have to be doing something for someone or I am of no use to them. Working long, hard hours, without taking a lunch break, most days, gives my life worth."
Well guess what, I am taking off personal time for me, (Feeling a little guilty) so I can hear what God is saying. "Be still and know that I am God." I am listening. I WILL hunt for God. In Him, I find my strength and worth.
